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posted : Wednesday, January 18, 2012
title : The Story of Bonnie and Clyde

1934 Bonnie Parker
You've read the story of Jesse James--
Of how he lived and died;
 
If you're still in need
Of something to read
Here's the story of Bonnie and Clyde.

Now Bonnie and Clyde are the Barrow gang. 
I'm sure you all have read
How they rob and steal
And those who squeal
Are usually found dying or dead.
 
There's lots of untruths to these write-ups;
They're not so ruthless as that;
Their nature is raw;
They hate the law--
The stool pigeons, spotters, and rats.
 
They call them cold-blooded killers;
They say they are heartless and mean;
But I say this with pride,
That I once knew Clyde
When he was honest and upright and clean.
 
But the laws fooled around,
Kept taking him down
And locking him up in a cell,
Till he said to me,
"I'll never be free,
So I'll meet a few of them in hell."
 
The road was so dimly lighted;
There were no highway signs to guide;
But they made up their minds
If all roads were blind,
They wouldn't give up till they died.
 
The road gets dimmer and dimmer;
Sometimes you can hardly see;
But it's fight, man to man,
And do all you can,
For they know they can never be free.
 
From heart-break some people have suffered;
From weariness some people have died;
But take it all in all,
Our troubles are small
Till we get like Bonnie and Clyde.
 
If a policeman is killed in Dallas,
And they have no clue or guide;
If they can't find a fiend,
They just wipe their slate clean
And hang it on Bonnie and Clyde.
 
There's two crimes committed in America
Not accredited to the Barrow mob;
They had no hand
In the kidnap demand,
Nor the Kansas City Depot job.
 
A newsboy once said to his buddy:
"I wish old Clyde would get jumped;
In these awful hard times
We'd make a few dimes
If five or six cops would get bumped."
 
The police haven't got the report yet,
But Clyde called me up today;
He said, "Don't start any fights--
We aren't working nights--
We're joining the NRA."
 
From Irving to West Dallas viaduct
Is known as the Great Divide,
Where the women are kin,
And the men are men,
And they won't "stool" on Bonnie and Clyde.
 
If they try to act like citizens
And rent them a nice little flat,
About the third night
They're invited to fight
By a sub-gun's rat-tat-tat.
 
They don't think they're too smart or desperate,
They know that the law always wins;
They've been shot at before,
But they do not ignore
That death is the wages of sin.
 
Some day they'll go down together;
They'll bury them side by side;
To few it'll be grief--
To the law a relief--
But it's death for Bonnie and Clyde.


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posted :
title : The Story of Suicide Sal

Bonnie Parker 1932


We each of us have a good "alibi"
For being down here in the "joint;"
But few of them really are justified
If you get right down to the point.
You've heard of a woman's glory
Being spent on a "downright cur,"
Still you can't always judge the story
As true, being told by her.
As long as I've stayed on this "island,"
And heard "confidence tales" from each "gal,"
Only one seemed interesting and truthful ---
The story of "Suicide Sal."
Now "Sal" was a gal of rare beauty,
Though her features were coarse and tough;
She never once faltered from duty
To play on the "up and up."
"Sal" told me this take on the evening
Before she was turned out "free,"
And I'll do my best to relate it
Just as she told it to me:
I was born on a ranch in Wyoming;
Not treated like Helen of Troy;
I was taught that "rods are rulers"
And "ranked" as a greasy cowboy.
Then I left my old home for the city
To play in its mad dizzy whirl,
Not knowing how little pity
It holds for a country girl.
There I fell for "the line" of a "henchman,"
A "professional killer" from "Chi;"
I couldn't help loving him madly;
For him even now I would die.
One year we were desperately happy;
Our "ill gotten gains" we spent free;
I was taught the ways of the "underworld;"
Jack was just like a "god" to me.
I got on the "F.B.A." payroll
To get the "inside lay" of the "job;"
The bank was "turning big money!"
It looked like a "cinch" for the "mob."
Eighty grand without even a "rumble"-
Jack was the last with the "loot" in the door,
When the"teller" dead-aimed a revolver
From where they forced him to the floor.
I knew I had only a moment -
He would surely get Jack as he ran;
So I "staged a ""big fade out" beside him
And knocked the forty-five out of his hand.
They "rapped me down big" at the station,
And informed me that I'd get the blame
For the "dramatic stunt" pulled on the "teller"
Looked to them too much like a "game."
The "police" called it a "frame-up,"
Said it was an "inside job,"
But I steadily denied any knowledge
Or dealings with "underworld mobs,"
The "gang" hired a couple of lawyers,
The best "fixers" in any man's town,
But it takes more than lawyers and money
When Uncle Sam starts "shaking you down."
I was charged as a "scion of gangland"
And tried for my wages of sin;
The "dirty dozen" found me guilty -
From five to fifty years in the pen.
I took the "rap" like good people,
And never one "squawk" did I make.
Jack "dropped himself"on the promise
That we make a "sensational break."
Well, to shorten a sad lengthy story,
Five years have gone over my head
Without even so much as a letter -
At first I thought he was dead.
But not long ago I discovered
From a gal in the joint named Lyle,
That Jack and he "moll" had "got over"
And were living in true "gangster style."
If he had returned to me sometime,
Though he hadn't a cent to give,
I'd forget all this hell that he's caused me,
And love him as long as I live.
But there's no chance of his ever coming,
For he and his moll have no fears
But that I will die in prison,
Or "flatten" this fifty years.
Tomorrow I'll be on the "outside"
And I'll "drop myself" on it today:
I'll "bump 'em" if they give me the "hotsquat"
On this island out here in the bay …
The iron doors swung wide next morning
For a gruesome woman of waste,
Who at last had a chance to "fix it."
Murder showed in her cynical face.
Not long ago I read in the paper
That a gal on the East Side got "hot,"
And when the smoke finally retreated,
Two of gangdom were found "on the spot."
It related the colorful story
Of a "jilted gangster gal."
Two days later, a "sub-gun" ended
The story of "Suicide Sal."

Curious as I am and intrigue by Jason's bewilder tweets, when he mentioned Bonnie and Clyde on one of his tweet, I had to google it. So I read the wikipedia page on Bonnie and Clyde and instantly, they became one of my favorite couples for history's sake, along side Sid and Nancy, what a tragic love stories. 

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posted : Saturday, December 31, 2011
title : 10 Lessons Learnt in 2011
.39am...... Saturday... 31st December 2011



1. Sex is all boys can think about.
2. True friends are hard to find, harder to keep.
3. Learnt to let go and accept life as it is.
4. Be more open and less pessimistic.
5. Life is cruel because people made it cruel. 
6. Leave behind people who puts you down just so they can be on top. I don't need those kind of 'friendship'.
7. Stop contemplating, just do it!
8. Love those who loves and appreciates me, discard the other disturbing feelings.
9. Most times, patience is the key.
10. Life ain't that bad if you're surrounded with the right people.

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posted :
title : Love is an illusion

When I was inquired if I've ever been in love, crossed my heart, I have no idea. What is thing called love? What's the big hoo-haa about it? Now let me rationalize my perspective of 'Love' to you.

Love is not just a feeling. Love is an illusion. You love when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and abused by the person or situation or things. 
If you think that someone is ‘the love of your life’, you are sick and delusional. Why would you think that way? It is because you see the person as perfect or that you chose to think you accepted his/her flaws as the qualities that made the person special to you.
Do you see what I’m saying?
I’m suggesting that you think a particular person is ‘the love of your life’ because you chose to think that way; you chose to look at the bright side, the good qualities in the person and block the negative things about the person or convert the bad qualities to your various asinine heroic story or just call it ‘special’. Heck, you may even delude yourself into thinking every little things the person do are cute and meaningful. 
It is not cute nor meaningful. Its life. It happened, that’s it. Nothing more.
So in another words, you are not in love with the person; you are in love with your highly undoubtedly great imagination/delusion of the person that you formed in your mind. Or shall I say, you’re in love with the ideal idea of which you picture the person to be.
Do you get what I mean?

So when people ask me again, if I believe in true love? 
Think I believe my delusions are more true and powerful. 


Quote of the day "Mind over matter, my love."

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posted :
title : Poetic when I'm half past Sane.
Knife me through the heart cause I'm done living. Stab me once or twice but im no longer hurting. When I'm black and blue i am of no use.
Love you when you dont. I'm foolish. Stab me cause you can i'm too trusting. Beat me black&blue I love you. Slap me left and right I'm done with you.
Cause in the darkness I see brightness in you. When the lights are off demons emerge. I fear you not cause I trust you.
In a mental state of mind, you're beautiful. Tell me what you like I'll fullfill you. Cause when the world is bright it scares me.
Between the dark and light, all seems alright. Peace will never come but I'll be fine, broken.
Nothing is right, something is wrong. You and I will never go wrong. Burn me in to flames, I love the pain. Skin on fire, it's no comparision to the flame in my heart it burns for you.
When the bird sings in the lighter days. We sing when we're in pain. Darkness is no competition to the darkess thoughts in our brain.
Free me? There's no cage. No solid ones but its in my head. Free me, not physically but from the demons of my deceased mental state.
So shoot me I beg of you. But the more I beg the more you thrill. It's saddening but that's a man's will.
i'm not a bird im a raccoon. Come out at night, the dark's my saviour. Surviving on junk. At least im living. But breathing aint living.
Sun is up. Everyone's asleep. Bite my tongue. I shall not weep.
Too young to die. Too old to live. When I die there's no glory. Just a stone cold grave.
Color me red is all I see. Tear me apart piece my piece. Maybe perhaps you'll be at ease. That makes one of us at least.

Written on 24th of December, 2011 by Psych Shu Ee.

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posted : Monday, November 28, 2011
title : Mentally Exhausted
1.11pm (make a wish quick!)... Saturday..... November 28 2011



A lot had happened even before the last blog post before this.

Drama with my Theater lecturer about my qualification to perform for Final Examination because I will be absent for a week to go to Australia. I was told that I strictly cannot participate for Finals if I choose to go ahead with my personal leave. It was totally absurd as there were at least 4 weeks until Finals. In the end, everyone compromised and I was saved by my kindhearted groupmates.


Australia was fun. To a certain point. I had the best and worst times of my life there. Best in terms that I finally fulfilled one of my dreams to travel to a western country; I love the weather and people there; I had a great time shopping and sight-seeing. Worst times, why? I had horrible sleep because of my inconsiderable sisters. My youngest sister, for some unknown reason, kept picking fight with me and my eldest sister was no help at all, she'd sometimes side her against me. We were rushing here and there. It was in my personal hell with two demons, i tell you.

For the two weeks after I came back from Australia, I was stressing to catch up. All the tests, assignments and presentations piling up and to be done within these two weeks. I'm sure I did not experience jet-lag but there were definitely something wrong with me. Maybe it's stress and anxiety, as I couldnt sleep right. I cant remained asleep to be exact. My thoughts were everywhere, worrying about everything and anything. I had the appetite of an anorexic. The first week back, I barely eat or sleep. Spent 90% of my waking time in campus and the rest of my time forcing myself to sleep.

My assignments are easy peasy, but with my mind trying to grab hold of everything, it strained too hard and stretched too far for me to even get anything done properly. Sigh.

Oh, not to mention my baby boy Bobby left me and has gone to a better place. 10 years of friendship, gone with only memories left. A decade he had provided us with joy and security. I miss him dearly. But I didnt have a proper period of time to grieve for my lost. He left on the 5th of November and my flight was on the 6th. I didnt come back till the 15th of November. When I came back, I had so much to worry about, I barely have time for myself. Sigh.


I want to sleep like a baby again. I want to go back to my stress-free self where I can just say FUCK IT and not give a damn. Kill me. Let me rest in peace.



Quote of the day "Guess we all come undone time to time in different ways. Well i have myself to blame, guess I dont understand I need help in many ways"

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posted : Saturday, November 5, 2011
title : R.I.P BOBBY JUNE 2002- NOV,5TH 2011
4.55pm...... Saturday.... November 5th 2011

Rest in Peace BOBBY
June 2002- November 5 2011
My best friend, My loyal companion,
My Guardian Angel.
Love You Forever.


posted : Wednesday, October 12, 2011
title : Breaking's what your heart is for
4.46pm...... Wednesday...... October 12, 2011



This week's theme revolves around the general meaning of the word "Breaking". The trend may have started few days ago when I broke my drumstick. I didnt think much of it though until I started seeing similar signs. On Monday, I had a flat tyre, Tuesday I was late for Biology lab while Wednesday, which is this morning, I found one of my tom-tom broke. It totally broke my heart. I have no idea who did it or was I the one who accidentally broke it the same time I broke my drumstick?

I dont know. This whole week just didnt feel right. I sense the negativity from the start. Shit just kept happening. The same morning I had a flat tyre, I found scratches along the side of driver side's door. Fuck. The worst part about that morning was that I had a Psychology test! Ohwells, I didnt let that bring me down. Then came Tuesday the whole day just dont seem right either, I got screwed for being late or should I say 'didnt show up' for lab. I was dead tired. Then I realized why was I so tired these past few days.

This morning was the last straw, I cant take it anymore. Woke up feeling like shit, to find my tom-tom broke. It was all fine still until I went to campus. Oh I should've known better to reach campus in time because of the massive parking problem. While finding a parking, I accidentally scraped the side of my car against another parked car. THAT was all I can take. Fuck classes, fuck the fucking campus parking, I went straight home and slept it off.

Now I feel disconnected. Disconnected from people. Disconnected from myself. I need to reassess my priorities. Delete and move on. Two weeks ago I was blissful. Now I just want to skip town.



Quote of the day "JUST GET UP AND GO!!"

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