7.46pm.... 2nd October 2011...... Sunday



There's something about sitting in Starbucks by myself that is so nostalgic. To a certain point, I am content to be in this moment. I wish the time will stop ticking. I wish that I will never think about the things that I wanted but is not mine to take. I want this feeling of content to last but it is rather impossible, isn't it? We're only human; it is in our instinct to crave for more, we are one greedy creature.

Sometimes I find it hard to grasp that I am actually nineteen already; the last year of teen-hood. The degree of change I've gone through is unbelievably drastic. No, I do not mean the physical changes. I meant the psychological changes; the mind works and emotions. I fear I am no longer an angst-filled teenager. I feel betrayed by my own self. It is very much ridiculous. But honestly, I love the hate-filled me. The new patient, grown up Shu Ee is not at all interesting. Rather dry and boring, I say.

Nineteen. I will be hitting twenty next year. Why cant time just stop. Just stop. Reverse back to four years ago when I had the time of my life ruling the school and rebelling in the name of "Just cause I can". I don't want to grow up. Things just suddenly lost its thrills when you're officially a grown up. The thrill of rebelling without a cause, taking chances and risks to do the things we shouldn't do or wasn't of age to do. All those excitement dies as we age. Now the every steps you make and every risks you take will one way or another affect your life. This really just simply suck.



Quote of the day "Alone, left alone, watch her slowly disappear with time." 

Labels: another weekend gone, just so you know., life, random shitx